This week was all sorts of things and it got pretty frustrating, to tell you the truth. I wrote a paragraph at the beginning of the week —
It's only Tuesday. And I'm getting started on this week's List. I feel so out of it. I spent the day at home today and I've been trying to get myself to focus but it's just not happening. I can't get anything together and I'm aware that I'm not taking control of everything that I'm thinking and feeling at the moment. It sucks. I would gladly entertain this if it had been any other week but I just don't have the time to think, to feel. I hope that by tonight, or please, when I wake up tomorrow, this will all go away.
and I sincerely thought I would be able to have a much better week, you know? But I just felt…frustrated. Frustrated really is the word.
I can’t remember the last time I spent this much time in bed. All weekend, I was just in bed. I was on Netflix, I started rereading Harry Potter, I just let myself be lazy. I know, I have no right to do this considering that there’s really a lot to do, but I felt like I needed it.
Every single time I find myself in a situation where I end up winging things, I always tell myself it would be the last one and that I can’t blame anyone but myself for the consequences. That is exactly what happened during that one interview I needed to ace. The entire interview made me anxious, I had to keep reminding myself to give it my best, to be totally honest and transparent, and that the rest will just follow.
LIFE IS FLEETING.
For some reason, maybe brought about by the show that I just finished watching, I’ve been putting so much thought on regret. I dislike everything that comes with regret and it’s that one thing I don’t want my life to be, a life of regret. Life, so short and so beautiful, only to be filled with “should have’s” and “shouldn’t have’s” would be a total waste, would you think so too? Actions that lead to thoughts like this steal fleeting moments, moments that eventually make us realise that life is nothing but a fleeting moment.
Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.Anne Frank
So, I’ll end this blog post with just one more thought — be mindful and be intentional with your words and actions, be grateful, show kindness, and extend grace. life is fleeting.